Halloween Hijinks
by Princess.Jack.N.Anamaria
Summary: Some of you enjoyed The Pleasure... and wanted me to create another JackAnaKids fic, so I did. But, this is a one shot. Sorry! It's a Halloween fic, although Halloween isn't even here, and it's a cute little story with JackAnaKids in 2006. Read and Review


_**To Scare a Sparrow**_

_**By: jackNanamaria**_

**Summery:** Another Jack/Ana/Children fic. THIS one, however, is based on the children I've created from my site: JJ and Havia Sparrow. **_Captainme, Caribbean Babe_**, and others know who I'm talking about. I hope you like it!

**Summery 2: **It just came out of nowhere while I was checking my stats. I mostly check only "I'll Be..." and "Walt Disney...", but I decided to go ahead and look at the other ones. I noticed just how much some of you liked, "The Pleasure of Being a Family", so I've decided to go ahead create another. 'Tis a one-shot, and is set in 2006. Now that I've gotten use to this site, and my writing has since matured, you'll probably love this one MORE than "The Pleasure..."

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It just clicked out of nowhere when the clock stroke twelve AM. "It's Halloween, isn't it?" He grinned, "Yep. Sure is." The man got up from the couch and turned off the television. Snickering, the figure made his way to the nearby coat closet, where he had been storing a medium-sized Wal-Mart bag for the past few weeks or so. Once he had retrieved his bag of goods, the man searched all through it and successfully found his desired materials.

"This should be fun." He muttered under his breath as he dressed up in a more "appropriate" attire. He placed the rest of the stuff back in the bag and closed it up in the closet. He moved to the mirror that sat beside the kitchen doorway and couldn't help but chuckle at how ridiculous he looked. The combination of fungus green, tar black, and muddy brown emphasized against the ugly design of the mask and gruesome fangs. He placed two gloves on his hands, intrigued by the long claws that extended from each finger. He grinned at the sight and painted his exposed torso in red makeup that was labeled "blood", and placed three black dots across his abdomen, in which the bag labeled them as "bullet holes". Finally, he sprayed himself with the recommended cologne that was labeled, "Swamp Musk", drowning himself in the horrible fragrance.

The floor creaked beneath his bare feet as he moved out of the living room, flicking off the lights as well, and his arms felt along the walls as he tried not to make so much noise. Another loud crack of thunder sounded from outside, echoing and lingering above in the high ceilings. Lighting followed suit, illuminating the lone figure, and cast a heavy dark shadow across the laminate wooden floors. He crept up the tan carpeted steps, passing the large portrait of the Sparrow family that was decked on the beige walls.

**CRACK**

The thunder cried out once more. Finally, he made it to the top of the stairs and turned left, towards the hall of doors. He tip-toed across the carpet, the house so quiet that he could hear himself breathing. He moved with a flexible body, dropping down on all fours to crawl. It would be much quieter that way. The skin of his exposed torso could be visibly seen moving up and down as he calmly inhaled and exhaled.

**CRACK**

His body did not flinch at the sudden outburst, and continued to creep down the halls. He past an ajar door, where his eyes found two small figures playing and giggling. He smiled at the sight: Havia and Jack Junior, or JJ if you wish. The two three year old twins lay on the carpeted floor, a wide ocean of crayons, markers, and coloring sheets sprawled out around them. They prattled on to each other in their unique language that only children, ages one to four, could understand. Havia was sitting on the floor, her legs spread apart as she leaned forward, into the space, and colored a picture of a curly-haired Cabbage Patch Doll. JJ, on the other hand, was laying on his stomach, his legs in the air and crossed at the shin as he scribbled on an outline of Spiderman. Over in a far cornered crib, he saw his three month old daughter, Megera, sleeping soundly in her pink cradle, a blue Care Bear snuggled up beside her peaceful figure.

The figure watched the pair of twins with amazed eyes, _'How in the world can they bend that way? If I were to even **attempt** that, I'd be the first human Rice Krispy. That's where they got the whole Snap, Crackle, Pop idea from.' _He shivered at the thought, _'Very disturbing, that is.'_ Shaking his head, he continued his journey to the end of the long hallway. The storm had eased up a bit, it hadn't really completely stopped, but the thunder and lightning had slowed up. This, in it's own way, was a blessing for said person. Any time a storm had dared to roam about the town Caribbea, JJ and Havia would scream and wail all night, practically waking up the dead in their efforts, and it would take all and every bit of energy to get their parents to budge from bed in order to lull the back to sleep, and then end up doing it all over again ten minutes later. How in the world could they manage to do that twenty times a night? The power of Red Bull, love, the power of Red Bull.

He smirked to himself as he neared the room, where a low golden glow shone against the floor. He crawled to the doorway and peeked around the corner, expecting to find his raven haired companion tucked beneath the covers like a cozy snow bunny, but, to his disappointment, all that met his eyes was a large unmade four-post bed. He furrowed his eyebrows together and continued on into the room. Behind the bed, he saw a light glowing from the bathroom, and followed it. He moved like a cautious wolf, hoping that he would not give himself away before he got the chance to pounce and attack. The man moved across the room and towards the bathroom door, where the sudden scent of burning cherry-vanilla candles lingered. He inhaled the wonderful aroma and briefly let his eyes flutter closed before he suddenly was reminded of his mission. He growled quietly to himself, "The blasted harpy is trying to bewitch me through the door, and she doesn't even know it! Flippin' scandalous." Grumbling along the way, the figure finally stopped before the ajar wood. He quietly pushed the door open _and_...ah, there she was. He smirked.

Behind that door, he found the dove of the household soaking in the bathtub, surrounded by an alter of rich glowing candles. The tub was centered in the room and dug down into the floor. Her hair was tied into two long ponytails that hung around her shoulders, which then fell over her breasts and disappeared into the steamy bath water, a curly cluster of her raven colored hair hanging down on either side of her brightly toned cheeks. Her eyes were closed, a contempt smile graced upon her features. Fluffy white bubbles filled the tub, the warm water glistening against her mocha/caramel skin. Compliments of the candlelight, she glittered like a goddess.

He smirked with a sparkle in his eye behind his mask, _'Is she not?'_ Crossed his mind. Stealthily, he moved with the grace of a cat as he eased through the door, careful as to not arouse the relaxing woman. He crawled quietly behind the tub, stifling the urge to laugh out loud. He sat up high on his knees behind her, his shadow devouring her form. He watched with delight her squirming form. Clearly, she had either sensed that it had gotten much too dark all too suddenly, or, she had noticed the strong sickly stench that he had covered himself in. _'1...2...3...'_ He thought. Taking a deep breath, he jumped and grabbed her shoulders, emitting a fierce loud growl from the depths of his throat.

"Raaaawrrr!!"

She practically leapt out of her skin as she screamed from deep within, "Aaaahhh!" She jumped up high, forgetting what she was, er, _wasn't_ wearing, and slipped, her form disappearing beneath the foamy bath water. Once she resurfaced, the suffering woman spit out the water that had somehow entered her mouth, and took in fast labored breaths. She glared at the person who had dared to disturb her peace, and then _laugh_ at it? Yes, indeed, the person was throwing a fit as he clutched his gut and let out side-splintering cries of laughter. She growled as she noticed the large puddle of water that had overflowed about the rim of the tub from her jump attack.

She narrowed her eyes as she wiped the water from her face and sat up straighter. Chuckling quietly, Mimi took her bar of **_Caress_** soap and threw it at his forehead once Jack had removed his mask, leaving him with a sudsy white mark, "I hate you, Jack, you know that?"

He wiped the tears that ran down his cheeks, and scrubbed the soap stain from his forehead, "Aw, I'm sorry, Ana. Forgive me, dove?" He rested his arms on the edge of the tub, gazing at his wife with humorous eyes.

She wiped the remains of the heated water from her face and moved across the large encircled bathtub to stand before him. She watched him with mischievous eyes, a slowly forming smile that Jack knew all too well, crossed over her face. _'Why did I teach her that? I swear she uses it more than I do, and it's scaring the bejeezes out of me.'_ "Oh, I'll forgive you alright!" With that said, Anamaria gripped Jack by his shoulders and pulled him into the tub with her. She laughed with delight as he coughed up water and stared at her with revenge.

"Tramp."

Ana arched an eyebrow and rested her hands on her hips with her _'Don't mess this ghetto girl' _look in her eyes, "Uh..._excuse_ me?"

He smirked, "Nothin', love."

"Mm-hm. Thought so." Just then, the twins came in with tired and confused eyes.

JJ rubbed his eyes, "What you doin'?"

Havia moved towards them and watched her parents through half-closed eyes, "Yeah, we heard Mama scweaming."

Jack and Ana shared a look of embarrassment. Their _children_ were more mature than they were! Finally they looked back at the two and Jack responded, "She saw a bug."

Ana's eyes widened and she elbowed him in the ribs. He cried out, "Ow! What in the world was that for?"

She whispered and motioned towards the horrified looking Havia, "You said the 'b' word."

His mouth changed to a large 'O' as recognition crossed over him at what he had just said, "Oops. Maybe she-" Havia cut him short as she began to burst into tears, "Hayvee, no, don't cry!" Ana elbowed him again, "Ow! Would you quit doing that?"

"Why'd you bring that up? You know how she flips out when she hears the word 'bug'!" Havia's cries grew louder and fiercer at the continuous use of the 'b' word. Jack narrowed his eyes down at his wife with mock annoyance.

"Oh, way to go, Ana!"

"Clog it, Jack!"

"Fine, fine. Hayvee, come here, darlin'." The younger of the twins walked over to the tub, where Jack immediately scooped up his daughter into his arms, pulling her into the bathtub with them. Anamaria took her daughter into her arms and let the small child cuddle into her chest as she hushed the weeping child.

"Shush now, Havia. It's alright. Come on, now, stop the tears, love." She kissed the girl on her head and continued to try and calm her, not noticing JJ come over to join them.

Jack flickered a smile across his face at the sight of his son coming over, "And what's wrong with you?"

"I feel lonely."

Sparrow chuckled and picked up JJ, bringing the laughing child into the bathtub as well. Ana, finally succeeded in soothing Havia, watched all of them with uncomfortable eyes, "Why am I the only naked person in this tub?"

Jack smiled, "Because, darling, you like to be unique and special. You express your individuality in the most weirdest and unusual ways, not that I'm complaining or anything." He suggested as his finger traced her forearm.

She playfully rolled her eyes and swatted his hand away, "Oh stop it. You're so perverted, you know that?"

Havia and JJ scrunched their eyebrows together in curiosity, "What's a perverted?"

Jack half-heartedly swatted Ana on the back of her head, smiling, "Ugh! Way to go, Ana, you've just added to their non-educated minds yet _another_ word that they can call their friends at school."

"Grog it, Jack!"

"It's 'clog it, Jack', Mimi, we aren't pirates."

Havia toyed with her mother's hair, "What's a pirate? Is it a Barbie doll?"

Ana snickered, "Hon, if Barbie were a pirate, she'd find some odd mysterious way to break her toe, but that godforsaken smile would still be on her face."

Jack was confused, "Barbie doesn't have toes."

"Precisely."

He chuckled, "You're awful, Maria."

"I know." She looked down at the two children that were now bundled up in tight balls, yawning madly, "Now, I _do_ believe it's someone's bedtime?"

JJ pointed to Havia, still yawning, "Yer talking to her right?"

"No, Curly Top," Jack began, "You too."

They whined, "But we don't wanna!"

"But if you don't," Ana brought up, knowing how to get them to get out, "the Boogie Man will come and take me and Daddy away from you two, because you haven't gone to bed yet. He doesn't like grown-ups, and if their children aren't asleep, he'll take us to his evil layer and make us slaves! Nooo! Now, does that sound good?"

JJ and Havia bugged their eyes and jolted out of the tub, shouting as they ran to their room, "Nooo! The bad Boogie Man is coming! We gots te save Mama and Daddy!"

Jack couldn't help but laugh at their reaction, "You aren't cut out to be a mother, Ana."

She grinned, "It got them out of here, didn't it?"

"Yeah," He stood up from his perched spot and moved to the edge of the tub to get out. Once he pulled himself up, he towered above Maria, sopping wet, "Now get your hind out of there before you prune. The last thing I need and want to see is my wife becoming resemblance of my own grandmother."

"Fine." She chuckled, accepting the offered golden brown towel that he held out to her. She wrapped the thick layer of cloth around her dripping form and, with Jack's assistance, got out of the tub. They each blew out five of the ten candles, leaving the room in darkness, and Ana unplugged the drain so that it would drink up the remains of her bath water.

"So, did I scare you?" Jack decided to ask, picking up his mask from the floor as Ana waited by the door.

She narrowed her eyes at him through the dark, "Don't get cocky."

He grinned, "So I _did_ scare you?"

Ana smiled and rolled her eyes. With the towel still wrapped around her, she leaned in and planted a kiss upon his lips, "Happy Halloween, Jack."

He smiled mischievously, "It'd be even happier if you got rid of the towel."

Maria snorted and moved all the way into the room, "It ain't _that_ happy now."

He groaned and shut the bathroom door behind him, "You know, _you_ should have dressed up as well. You'd make the perfect witch."

"And _you'd_ make the perfect jackass." She rummaged through the drawers in search of her night clothes.

"That one was low, dove. _Really_ low." He lay on the bed, watching her sort through the wooden drawers for something to wear, "Why don't you just sleep naked?"

She turned around to face him with glitter in her eyes, a slow forming smile on her face, "Because, dearest Jack, I don't want the bed bugs to bite all over me."

He furrowed his eyebrows together confusedly, "What are you-?" Then it hit him, and a smile crossed his face as well, "Ooh! Well, maybe they'll be good tonight?"

She tossed her head back and laughed, pulling her long nightgown over her shoulders. Maria slipped on her fluffy Happy Bunny slippers and moved towards the door, "Good night, Jack."

"And where are you going?"

"I've got a date with a vampire."

"What vampire?" He sat up, worried about what she had actually meant this time, but she just kept on walking, her giggles filling the halls as he continued to yell, "What vampire?"

No response.

He grumbled like an old man and flopped down on his pillow, "Probably that bloody Will Turner."

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**A/N:** Just to let you know, in case you didn't get that last part when Ana said, "I've got a date with a vampire", she meant that she had to go breast feed Megera before she went to bed. Will Turner was not involved in any of this, so pay no heed to Jack. The poor guy is confused. lol Anyways, I hope you liked that, because it was an interesting thing for me to write. So...yeah. I'm hosting a party for any person who reviews at my house tonight! Jack and Will will be there! Once I drug them 'till unconciousness and haul them down here to Georgia in my mom's Ford...


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